It is difficult for all working mothers (and fathers) to find a balance between home and work. This includes me. While I was raising kids, I was first in school and then working full time. When I was in graduate school, I had young children. I was at the library, at school, or at home. The home balance was the minimal one. My son was in Kindergarten. One day he came home crying because I had forgotten it was Crazy Hat Day at school. He had been the only one without a hat because I was so focused on school that I had completely forgotten to help him with a hat. I was crushed. How could I have let something so important to him slip? I remember being in Supervision, at school, and telling my Supervisor this story while I cried. I was looking for some empathy. She looked at me and said, “I was always one of those people who was able to study, be on the phone, and breast feed at the same time”. No sympathy or empathy there. Was I the only one who struggled to find a balance as a woman and mother?
For years I worked seven days a week and was on call 2 hours a day. During this time, I also had a house full of kids. At the end of the day, after giving at work all day, I would come home and have noting left to give. All at home wanted something from me. My patience was thin, and I was always exhausted. I tried to get up early and have time to myself. I tried to exercise daily and to take care of myself. There were times I would go for a drive after work to decompress and switch gears from the day before returning home hoping this would give me energy. None of this seemed to help. I still arrived home and had no balance between home and work. Home suffered.
Now that I have an empty nest, I feel more balanced. This is sad. Did I need to have an empty nest to find the balance? I asked my kids if they had sensed this when they were at home. I was told I was a good Mom who worked a lot, but they understood and felt like it helped them to develop a healthy work ethic. I sure hope this is true.
In the present I take time every morning to go for a walk or run, to go to an exercise class, to be sure I have plenty of time for self-care so I can give both at work and to all the people in my personal life. THe above photo is one I took at sunrise, this week, on my morning self-care walk. I do feel good! I do feel balanced!
In my office I tell women who feel unbalanced to be sure to take time for self-care no matter how they fit it in. When they tell you on an airplane to put your oxygen mask on first and then assist your children what they mean is you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. This is very true. You will burn out and run out of steam if you are constantly giving to others and not to yourself.
Now that I have finally found the right balance, I encourage others to do the same or to look at ways they can make the balance more even. Positive vibes to you to be able to do so!
For years I worked seven days a week and was on call 2 hours a day. During this time, I also had a house full of kids. At the end of the day, after giving at work all day, I would come home and have noting left to give. All at home wanted something from me. My patience was thin, and I was always exhausted. I tried to get up early and have time to myself. I tried to exercise daily and to take care of myself. There were times I would go for a drive after work to decompress and switch gears from the day before returning home hoping this would give me energy. None of this seemed to help. I still arrived home and had no balance between home and work. Home suffered.
Now that I have an empty nest, I feel more balanced. This is sad. Did I need to have an empty nest to find the balance? I asked my kids if they had sensed this when they were at home. I was told I was a good Mom who worked a lot, but they understood and felt like it helped them to develop a healthy work ethic. I sure hope this is true.
In the present I take time every morning to go for a walk or run, to go to an exercise class, to be sure I have plenty of time for self-care so I can give both at work and to all the people in my personal life. THe above photo is one I took at sunrise, this week, on my morning self-care walk. I do feel good! I do feel balanced!
In my office I tell women who feel unbalanced to be sure to take time for self-care no matter how they fit it in. When they tell you on an airplane to put your oxygen mask on first and then assist your children what they mean is you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. This is very true. You will burn out and run out of steam if you are constantly giving to others and not to yourself.
Now that I have finally found the right balance, I encourage others to do the same or to look at ways they can make the balance more even. Positive vibes to you to be able to do so!
