This maybe a bit after-the-fact but always helpful!I recently lost my Step-Father and Father within a month of each other.  There has been a lot of grieving and a lot of sadness in my family.  I understand the holidays can be and will be hard for my family this year.  We will surround ourselves with love and attempt to find some joy in this first holiday season without our loved ones.
There are many among us who will also be sad and have a difficult time this holiday season.  The loss of loved ones is one reason for this sadness.  There are also may among us who are suffering due to losses, injuries, sickness, poverty, war, hate crimes, dysfunctional or non-present family and a plethora of other reasons.

Grieve and Recognize Your Emotions:
Stress, depression and sadness are common at this time of year.   If you are feeling any of these it’s OK and healthy to recognize your feelings and attempt to manage them. It is normal to feel sadness and grief.  Recognize your emotions and allow yourself to experience emotions.  Crying is healing.  I see many people who tell me they don’t want to cry or don’t think it is OK to cry.  If we weren’t made to cry why do we have tears?  Go ahead and cry if you need to and then remember to care for yourself. Strong emotions rollover us and eventually dissipate.  Remember this.
The stages of grief are; Denial, bargaining “if only I had”, anger, sadness, acceptance.  The stages ae not sequential and each stage can be revisited at any time.

Dysfucnctional Families:
If your family is dysfunctional or negative and you have to be with them over the holidays remember, you can’t change them or control how they act.  However, you can control your reactions and interactions with them.  Put up your boundaries and stick to them.  If someone treats you negatively create some space or some inner peace in your reaction to them.

Don’t Isolate:
Although you may feel like curling into a ball and hiding from the world this will actually make you feel worse and more alone.  Call a friend or family member.  If you feel alone and as though you don’t have anyone to call, go to a support meeting, find somewhere to volunteer, go and listen to some live music.  Studies show being with others can move us out of our negative place.

Find Some Positive Quotes or Positive Energy on The Internet:
Gather positive quotes and take pictures of them on your phone or use sticky notes to post them on your bathroom mirror. When one of my children or foster children was sad or depressed I would sneak into their bathroom and put sticky notes with positive quotes or messages to that child all over the mirror.  Do this for yourself! Watch a positive individual or motivational speaker on the Internet.

Self-Care:
I always repeat to: REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! This is so important. Without self-care we can’t be there for ourselves or for anyone else.  Exercise, get a massage, take a bubble bath, meditate, spend time with your pets.  Whatever makes you feel good and is healthy, do it!

Negative Behaviors:
Avoid negative behaviors such as over using substances, self-mutilation or anything else that may be self-sabotaging.  Work hard to replace negative behaviors with healthy ones.

Talk to a Professional:
If you have tried all these things and still feel horrible or unable to face the holiday season talk to a professional.  I am always here to help. Contact Me to schedule an appoinment.

In Kindness,

MM